The Anticipation of Emanation

Her daddy always wanted something better for his girl;
someone better in this world
than what she chose
I suppose I always knew I wasn't best
and yet
I had to find out the hard way;
the only way
I know

Back in the day, you could never tell the difference
between the asphalt and my eyes;
black seeping through whatever holes were in my head
at the time
and looking back I recognize that
time is on our side
but becomes a victim to friendly fire;
bullets of fear lodged between it's ribs
the shrapnel of anxiety between it's lips
and the agony of regret
between our ears

Her daddy knew the type of man I was
because all men are one thing
before they become a man;
an angry boy with no place to call his home
He had stopped being angry long ago
and I was just
starting my engine, so to speak
drinking my coffee without cream,
refusing to let a doctor see me,
and defending those
who didn't deserve defense

...Back when love was still a motive
and standards were never set in stone
...back when being alone was
the least of our concerns
...back when cloud-covered skies became a constant reminder
of our proximity to death

Her daddy always wanted someone better for his girl
something better in a world
that seems to forget:

the joys of trying not to get wet as the seashore licks at your feet
the shining aura of genuine laughter
the shape of sound
the sound of sight
the sight of

Her

How could I ever forget that?


Maybe her daddy was right.

The 'someone better' is still inside
waiting for his chance to shine
in the endless starry night


Awake oh sleeping man and thrive!