A close acquaintance recently sent me a cellular text message in the middle of the night that said nothing more than "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh'. I was asleep when the text came in however I read it the following day and promptly replied with "Hope everything is O.K. I was about to text 911 for help."
She texted back, saying that a 911 texting service would be a great idea. I thought about it and decided to agree with her. The entertainment value alone would justify the millions of dollars required to operate an emergency texting service. Keeping in tradition with the text-message culture, I have refurbished the cliché text phrases, molding them to the context of an emergency.
LOL (Laughing Out Loud) will be replaced with COL - Crying Out Loud
ROTFL (Rolling On The Floor Laughing) will become ROFTD - Rolling On The Floor Dying
The ultimate compliment BWL (Bursting with Laughter) will be BWF - Bursting With Flames
LMAO (Laughing My Ass Off) - will become LOMA - Leaking Out My Ass
IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) [my least favorite internet slang ever invented] - will take on a 'B' to become - IMHOB - I May Have Orifices Bleeding
and of course, the ever so popular BRB (Be Right Back) will stay BRB and it will mean - Be Right Back. This will primarily be used by the 911 text dispatch operator, similar to being placed on hold, which happens quite often and more than people think.
I have always been accepting of a 'hold' option whilst calling 911 AS LONG as the hold music is tolerable.
...anything I can tap my severed foot to will do just fine.
Anyone have somethig to add?
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1 comment:
I LOLed. Creativity at its best.
Now, for some other terms...How about:
OMG (Oh My God) will change to GMO, and will stand for Genetically Modified.
New to the texting vocab will be: SOAMFP, or Snakes On A Mother F***ing Plane--if ever such a thing were to happen again.
And I'm spent.
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