The Vote

Voting day is upon us and I have decided to make a physical appearance at my designated voting location to seal the deal on political nostalgia that is this year's election. In the past I have opted for the absentee but there is something surreal about joining my fellow Americans in person to choose the lesser of two evils [lets be honest, nobody else has a chance in hell].

The excitement died down considerably however when I discovered where I would be casting my ballot this year. Warehouse Christian Ministries has opened their doors to allow for the fine citizens of the surrounding neighborhoods to confirm their political nomination in the house of the Lord.

My mind quickly thought of justifiable reasons why this marriage of event and environment should not be happening, Separation of Church and State being foremost on the list and naturally, the following scripture verse:

My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations. - Isaiah 56:7

But you have made it a den of thieves - Jeremiah 7:11

and found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and also the changers of money, sitting there. And when He had made a scourge of small cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers' money and overthrew the tables.- John 2:12-25

My first inclination was to dress as everyone's favorite messiah and turn the voting tables and booths over in a frenzied state of rage but the consequence of breaking several state and federal laws far outweighed any type of immediate gratification I might have received. So I let the idea roll around in my skull in an attempt to embrace the notion that I would be making a decision for my government in a religious building. What would it be like? Would the ballots be altered to include small pictures of flames next to Obama's name? Would the "No" box be removed on Prop 8? Would there be pictures of Christ staring at me with signs that read "Remember, Jesus was a republican" or "Obama = Father of Lies and Lord of the Underworld"?

I imagined the volunteers handing out Christian pamphlets sharing the good news of Palin and perhaps Pro-Lifers standing around with "Yes on 4" poster boards with pictures of mutilated abortions. Would we be offered communion after leaving the booth? Is my eternal salvation resting on which candidate I select?

WhoWouldJesusVoteFor?

Eventually I was able to dismiss my initial paranoia's and take confidence in the fact that, if there is a God, either his/her will will be done or our free will will be brought to fruition, both of which are technically God's doing. If Ed Gein or Marilyn Manson were candidates and I voted for either of them, I could take great peace in the knowledge that, if one was elected, God endorsed my vote, or at the very least, allowed it to happen.

Personally, the notion that a divine creator plays a role in who is elected President is as silly as the same divine creator having a fancy for a specific football team in the Super Bowl. If there are players on both sides that worship said creator, will He/She then choose the team that had the most loyalty and faith?

Does God operate on a Majority counts basis?

If so, clearly He/She is a 49ers fan and Nietzsche's rumor of his/her death is legitimate.

We shall see........